Communication is a Two-way Street

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Communication is a Two-way Street
Communication is a Two-way Street

Communication is a Two-way Street

Do you have that friend that drifts off the second you start talking? They are the most energetic and spirited human being until they are called upon to just listen. When someone tells me their darkest and deepest secrets, personal dramas and private fears I tend to think of it as a transaction. andoverleader

I should probably give something back. To reveal something that is close to my heart, just so that I don’t feel like I am going home with all their secrets and they leave not knowing my surname.

So I open my mouth, relate to something they said and bring it back to something personal of mine. I can just see it; right away I can see their spirit being sucked out of the top of their head, leaving an odd opaque look in their eyes.

It is how I imagine a demon possession would look like only the demon tugs the soul out and doesn’t bother possessing the body for some reason. Like stopping half-way and deciding the body isn’t good enough.

If I’m describing someone you simply had the misfortune to meet on a casual night out and got away with one-sided small talk, that’s common place. If however this is someone who you consider a friend, you might want to ponder on the word ‘friend’ just a little bit longer.

I’ve seen it too often and I’ve fallen victim to it as well. Two of these specimens were people I’ve known for longer than a decade; time means little. Does it mean they are horrendous people? Of course not. It just means they aren’t well equipped to be a good friend or better yet, treat you respectfully.

There are times to be selfish if you spend time going out with a friend where you spend the entire time nodding and giving the ‘mhmm’ and ‘yea’ for 90% of the conversation, it’s time for a good old reflection. What kind of friend does not want to know what is happening in your life, how you feel about things and know your opinion on her/his situation?

I for one do, friends whose opinion and advice I do not value are not friends, they are acquaintances. Sometimes you can be stuck in that type of relationship for such a long time that you just don’t realize that something isn’t right. That you aren’t having fun and you aren’t being heard.

I’ve heard people say ‘oh that’s just our dynamic’. Is it? As far as I know, even the introvert-iest introverts want to be heard when around friends and it’s truly strange if your friend isn’t giving you the opportunity to do that.

It’s a strange one. It’s also a really awkward one. You probably want to make an attempt to fix it as opposed to quitting it altogether. How do you even bring that up? ‘I know we’ve been in this kind of thing where you always do the talking but I’m not down with that anymore’.

That sounds extremely uncomfortable. Chances are even if they genuinely try to change their ways, it will be superficial because they never cared about your words in the first place. So it is about feigning interest and you’ll know that they are faking it which is bound to piss you off even more.

It’s the simple rule of ‘treat others how you want to be treated’ and if people who are supposed to care for you do not, it’s up to you to recognize it and trigger change. That is simply (please don’t sue me L’ Oreal) ‘Because you’re worth it’.

Communication is a Two-way Street

Do you have that friend that drifts off the second you start talking? They are the most energetic and spirited human being until they are called upon to just listen. When someone tells me their darkest and deepest secrets, personal dramas and private fears I tend to think of it as a transaction.

I should probably give something back. To reveal something that is close to my heart, just so that I don’t feel like I am going home with all their secrets and they leave not knowing my surname.

So I open my mouth, relate to something they said and bring it back to something personal of mine. I can just see it; right away I can see their spirit being sucked out of the top of their head, leaving an odd opaque look in their eyes.

It is how I imagine a demon possession would look like only the demon tugs the soul out and doesn’t bother possessing the body for some reason. Like stopping half-way and deciding the body isn’t good enough.

If I’m describing someone you simply had the misfortune to meet on a casual night out and got away with one-sided small talk, that’s common place. If however this is someone who you consider a friend, you might want to ponder on the word ‘friend’ just a little bit longer.

I’ve seen it too often and I’ve fallen victim to it as well. Two of these specimens were people I’ve known for longer than a decade; time means little. Does it mean they are horrendous people? Of course not. It just means they aren’t well equipped to be a good friend or better yet, treat you respectfully. Communication is a Two-way Street

There are times to be selfish if you spend time going out with a friend where you spend the entire time nodding and giving the ‘mhmm’ and ‘yea’ for 90% of the conversation, it’s time for a good old reflection. What kind of friend does not want to know what is happening in your life, how you feel about things and know your opinion on her/his situation?

I for one do, friends whose opinion and advice I do not value are not friends, they are acquaintances. Sometimes you can be stuck in that type of relationship for such a long time that you just don’t realize that something isn’t right. That you aren’t having fun and you aren’t being heard.

I’ve heard people say ‘oh that’s just our dynamic’. Is it? As far as I know, even the introvert-iest introverts want to be heard when around friends and it’s truly strange if your friend isn’t giving you the opportunity to do that.

It’s a strange one. It’s also a really awkward one. You probably want to make an attempt to fix it as opposed to quitting it altogether. How do you even bring that up? ‘I know we’ve been in this kind of thing where you always do the talking but I’m not down with that anymore’.

That sounds extremely uncomfortable. Chances are even if they genuinely try to change their ways, it will be superficial because they never cared about your words in the first place. So it is about feigning interest and you’ll know that they are faking it which is bound to piss you off even more. Communication is a Two-way Street

It’s the simple rule of ‘treat others how you want to be treated’ and if people who are supposed to care for you do not, it’s up to you to recognize it and trigger change. That is simply (please don’t sue me L’ Oreal) ‘Because you’re worth it’.

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