From Empty Offices to Stupid Expensive Luxury Homes in Kansas: What Even is This Market?
Alright, it’s… what time is it? Doesn’t matter. It’s Jessica. I gotta get this out before I explode or fall asleep, whichever comes first.
The Commercial Nightmare
So this Fed report… you know what? Forget the report. I’ll tell you what’s really going on. Drove downtown today. Felt like one of those post-apocalyptic movies. Half expected zombies to start chasing my car. But here’s the kicker – industrial spaces? Full. Apartments? Can’t build ’em fast enough. It’s like the Twilight Zone or something. Oh, and had a guy ask about office space today. Told him he’d have better luck selling ice to Eskimos. He didn’t get it. I need smarter clients.
Houses, Sweet… Nah, Just Houses
Don’t even get me started on real estate rates 2024. Up, down… you know what? I’m done trying to predict. Might as well use a Magic 8 Ball at this point. Oh, and this gem from today. Lady calls, asks about condo vs duplex vs townhouse. Spent 30 minutes explaining. You know what she says at the end? “So, which one has the butler?” I swear, I nearly hung up. Maybe I should’ve become a teacher. No, wait, they deal with this stuff too. Never mind.
You Want a License? You Poor, Sweet Summer Child
Had three calls this week about getting a real estate license. Three! Told the last guy to check out the pros and cons of real estate license online. Pros: You might not starve. Cons: Everything else. There, saved everyone some time.
I Don’t Even Know Anymore
Look, I’m gonna level with you. Or maybe I’m just talking to myself at this point. Who knows? This market’s like… you know when you’re doing laundry and you find that lone sock? That’s KC real estate. Nothing matches, nothing makes sense. And I swear, the next person who asks if is a townhouse is the same as a duplex… I might just change careers. Become a hermit or something. Do hermits make good money? God, I need sleep. Or coffee. Or a vacation. Maybe all three. Is it too late to become a professional napper? That’s gotta be a thing, right? Anyway, if you need me, I’ll be here. Drowning in paperwork and questioning my life choices. Just… maybe call after noon? Mornings and I aren’t on speaking terms right now. Where’s that bottle of… never mind. I’m going to bed. Maybe this will all make sense in the morning. Ha! Yeah, right.
