All couples face problems in their relationship, but not all problems lead to a breakup. Relationships fail for a variety of reasons. The key is to determine what’s really going on in your relationship and work with your boyfriend or husband to find the best solution.
Why are there problems in relationships?
The destruction of the established relationship is a very difficult process. At the moment when you need to let go of a loved one, you have to give up joint plans and dreams. The future is not as clear as a couple of days ago. From an outside position, it is often impossible to explain at all why this or that couple suddenly broke up. But what can I say, sometimes the former partners themselves realize the reasons for their separation far from immediately and not to the end.
Each couple has their own history, personal reasons and motives, based on which, you can expect the end of the relationship. The primary reason seems to be that separation is due to one person’s lack of feelings for another. When feelings do not exist, there is no relationship. Unfortunately, in most cases, partners break up, keeping mutual feelings in their hearts.
Is anger one of the relationship problems you are struggling with? Better to let it out than keep it inside! A new study by the Society for the Study of Personality and Social Psychology has shown that releasing anger can be beneficial in relationships. It is not always best to “forgive and forget” in a marriage.
Sometimes expressing anger is a helpful and honest way to solve a relationship problem. The main thing is to learn how to express your feelings without breaking the connection with your boyfriend or husband.
However, anger is not one of the biggest or most common relationship problems. The momentary discomfort of angry but honest conversation is not the reason the relationship is failing. In fact, anger can actually improve the long-term health of a relationship.
This is what Nietzsche said about unhappy relationships: “It’s not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes marriages unhappy.” If you do not treat your boyfriend or husband as a friend (with respect, love, generosity, honesty, acceptance, selflessness, etc.), then you are weakening the foundation of your relationship. And this is one of the biggest problems in relationships. let’s deal with them in more detail …
The main reasons for the breakup relationship
When the relationship between a man and a woman comes to naught, or ends in a painful breakup, then in most cases the former partners begin to look for the reasons for what happened. Often people, wanting to make their life easier and avoiding honesty with themselves, tend to see one circumstance as the reason. Often, such a reason is the behavior or attitude of someone who was previously around.
It’s really much easier to give all the responsibility for a failed relationship to someone else. Say, it’s only him, or she is to blame, or to blame for what happened. It is clear that there is some truth in this, however, for the sake of honesty, it is worth noting that a relationship is always the story of a couple, and, accordingly, a common responsibility.
It also happens that a person begins to blame only himself for what happened, and his own character traits, habits and some actions. Often such statements may even correspond to reality, but at the same time, understanding and awareness of this cannot save a person from such manifestations in the future. When, he again has a chance to recognize a new relationship.
There is often more than one reason, and although they relate to a partner or partner, they primarily relate to the beliefs and ideas of the person himself. Namely, the ideas of his role in the relationship, that is, what and how he will do, and how his partner or partner will react to it. It is this model, if it is divorced from reality, can greatly harm a person in building relationships. And the second reason is acceptance of how the other person will interact with him.
In other words, there are two reasons: a perception and beliefs about the behavior itself and a prediction about the behavior of another. Often, during consultations, one has to deal with the fact that people have a lot of false ideas about this. People tend to substitute almost fantastic expectations for real opportunities of interaction.
Expectations from change
In fact, it is these expectations that are the stumbling block that prevents people from creating quality relationships. After all, expectations are far from a forecast, and the collision of fantasy with reality does not bode well.
Such expectations can arise, and perceptions and beliefs can occur in different ways. It can be parental messages, and an imaginary scenario that a person turns for himself into something that has a real basis. Our perceptions of reality in many ways affect not only our state, but also how we achieve results. A quality relationship is also a result. But in order to find the result, it is very useful to check for realism your beliefs, ideas about how people interact in relationships. At the same time, one should not forget that all people are different, and even if their tastes and habits are somewhat similar, then discrepancies are possible in other moments.
In my opinion, the most useful skill and skill that allows you to avoid the influence of the above reasons is the ability to conduct a sincere dialogue, the main thing in which will be to correct, first of all, your false ideas about a happy relationship.
10 common relationship problems – and how to fix them
1. Broken promises, lies, deceit, theft
These breaches of trust almost always lead to relationship problems, and this is an obvious reason why relationships fail.
Solution to the problem? It depends on who is lying, cheating and stealing – you or your partner. If this is you, then it will be easier for you to solve this relationship problem. If this is your boyfriend or husband, then you have a little more work to do.
2. Power imbalance in relationships
Couples may be more likely to break up when one partner has more decision-making power than the other. For example, if your husband makes all decisions about activities, friends, financial matters, household chores and vacations, then he has full power. This means that your marriage is out of balance and easily ruined. Both you and your husband should share the same decision-making authority.
The solution to this problem is directly related to whoever has the most power in your relationship. How you approach this relationship issue depends on your communication style, negotiation skills, and willingness to change.
3. Acceptance of stereotypes in relationships
Here is an example of a stereotype in marriage: Husbands earn more than wives.
4. Isolation from friends and family
If you still spend most of your time with your partner and don’t spend time with friends as a couple, then you are not building a healthy relationship. And this will cause problems in the future.
5. Lack of self-knowledge in relationships
Have you lost yourself in your relationship? This is a problem and it will lead to long-term disaster!
Solution to the problem? Create a life outside of your friend’s or husband’s circle of friends, interests, work, and lifestyle.
6. Low self-esteem, self-doubt and lack of self-confidence
A relationship breaks down when one partner feels unworthy of love.
7. Excessive jealousy is one of the most common reasons for unsuccessful relationships.
Jealousy is one of the most common causes of relationship problems and breakups.
Jealousy is a sign of insecurity and fear that tears a relationship apart.
Solution to the problem? Find out why you are struggling with jealousy and understand how it causes problems. This is not just a way to fix your relationship, it will change your life.
8. Ineffective communication in relationships
This is one of the most common relationship problems because we are not taught good communication skills as children. Both you and your friend or husband should be able to share your thoughts, feelings, opinions, values, needs, disappointments, and joys. Sometimes couples avoid speaking honestly and hiding their true selves, which may not always lead to a breakup … but it does not strengthen your bond or feelings of closeness.
Solution to the problem? Are you struggling to communicate in your relationships? Identify your main problem areas. Learn what healthy communication is and how you can learn to do it as a couple. So that no reasons for divorce can be applied to your family.
9. Control questions for relationship
If your husband or boyfriend is constantly trying to control or manipulate you, then your relationship will become weak or destructive.
Solution to the problem? Be honest with yourself. Are you a relationship control freak? Do you tend to manipulate your boyfriend or husband to feel safer?
10. Unhealthy physical behavior
This is a huge category of relationship problems that encompasses everything from physical, mental and emotional abuse to drug addiction and alcoholism. Any behavior that physically harms you or your boyfriend or husband will destroy your relationship. However, it is never easy to walk away from the person you love.